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Here are some frequently asked questions about sexual harassment and the answers I have given other readers. Most of these answers are based on my
own opinions and experiences and may not reflect laws in your area or your school's policies. Please check with your school to find out their definitions and policies.What is harassment? | Can boys be harassed? | What can I do?
What is Harassment?
One common question I have been asked is: What exactly is sexual harassment? Sexual harassment is any unwanted, unwelcome behavior of a sexual nature that makes one feel uncomfortable or creates a hostile environment, and may
include, but is not limited to, comments, touching, joking, posting of photos or other sexually explicit behavior, or threats of negative effects following failure to commit sexual acts. My personal view of sexual harassment is that
if someone makes a comment, or does something to make you uncomfortable, it is not necessarily harassment unless the person knows it makes you uncomfortable and continues to do it anyway. For example, no, asking a girl out is not
sexual harassment. However, if she tells you "no" and you continue to ask her everyday after she tells you to stop, that could be considered harassment. (However, if a teacher tells you that he will give you an F unless you
sleep with him, that is an obvious case of harassment whether you have previously discussed it or not.) The main requirements in sexual harassment, in my opinion, are:
- The harassor must be aware that his/her behavior is making the victim uncomfortable
- some "cases" of harassment are based on misunderstandings; the person committing the behavior might really not realize that the victim isn't amused or doesn't like the behavior. If someone makes you uncomfortable, let him know and give him a chance to stop doing it on his own.
- There must be intent to harm the victim or cause a negative reaction -
It is my belief that someone who sexually harasses you is intentionally trying to make you feel bad or get some kind of reaction from you. It is possible
that someone can say something that you will interpret in a way it was not intended (which goes back to the need to let people know if their behavior affects you negatively).
- The behavior usually occurs more than once
- harassment usually happens on a regular basis over a period of time. If a guy told you a dirty joke once and it made you feel uncomfortable, it is not necessarily harassment, but if he tells you dirty jokes every day it could be.
- The harassor is able to know the difference between right and wrong
- in some cases, the person committing the behavior may be unable to make judgements about what is right and wrong, due to a young age or mental impairment.
Such individuals may not be guilty of harassment, but may require education or other assistance to help them understand why they have said something wrong.
- The behavior is of a sexual nature
- It's true that a lot of people experience unpleasant treatment by classmates in school. I think sexual harassment is a symptom of a larger issue of a lot of kids not being taught to respect others or put themselves in others' shoes before acting. However, sexual harassment refers to behavior of a sexual nature, and while other improper or hurtful behavior may have similar causes and effects, it falls under a different category. For example, teasing a child who is overweight is not sexual harassment. This is not to say that other types of harassment are less serious, and those in other situations of non-sexual harassment may be able to use the information on this site to help them.
Labelling something as "sexual harassment" that isn't makes it harder to get people to take it seriously when it does happen. If you are in a situation that doesn't fit these points, please be careful before you take
action. Many situations that seem like sexual harassment can be stopped easily by letting people know how you feel about their behavior or comments.
Can boys be harassed?
Boys can be sexually
harassed, although it is less common. I do not assume within this website that boys are always doing the harassing, I only focus on boys harassing girls because that is what I have experienced personally.
What can I do if I am being harassed?
More information will be up soon about dealing with harassment...If you have an emergency email me at erosen@lycos.com or talk to an adult. |
